just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I lost the right to judge tonight
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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