I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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