Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You have to summon your inner elephant
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
