i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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