Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
