I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
