wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
