Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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