yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
honey bunches of taint.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
