So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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