I wanna bring you to show and tell
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
