I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
