On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
