I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
