We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
