Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
