I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
