Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
