i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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