a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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