i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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