next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
