You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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