hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
