do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
