sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
