would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
