She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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