There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Enjoy the penises
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
