Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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