So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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