Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
