It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
