hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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