literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
