so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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