You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
