when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
pray to the hookup gods
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
