Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
