fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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