census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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