Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
