I want to stick my p in your. b.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
