oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
