I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
