Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
