your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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