well he's currently spooning the coffee table
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
