"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
