Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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