The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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