So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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