"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
