after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
