new low.... made out with someone while peeing
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
