had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
