Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
