Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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