the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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